Relations
by Kageri
Summary: Inspired by The Devil's Advocate. My most recent ficcy... I'm very proud of this one. It's got humor, drama, action, mystery, suspence, and chocolate syrup. ^_^


Relations

Relations

Subaru picked up his tattered red jacket from the ground. Another day's work done, another check to cash, and another life saved from the grips of a deadly enemy. What a beautiful morning, he thought as he walked down the street, whistling a happy little tune. 

"Sumeragi-san?" 

Subaru turned around to see a man dressed in a handsome business suit. His golden brown eyes seemed to send out and aura of perfection all around him, and his sculpted physique assured all that his aura wasn't lying. He smiled softly. 

"Sumeragi Subaru… that is your name, is it not?"

Subaru nodded and continued to study the man intently. He reached into the inside pocket of his coat and pulled out a small envelope. 

"I've been trying to deliver this to you for quite some time now. Do you have any idea how busy a bee you are? Tracking you down was quite a chore." He said, offering the letter to Subaru, who took it and bowed.

"I'm sorry, my business keeps me on my feet… I'll be glad to pay you for your trouble though."

The man smiled and waved his hand. "Keep your money."

"Oh, I insist! I must give you something for all your troubles." Subaru said and held out some money. 

"I really don't need money, but thank you."

"Well, if I can't offer you money at least let me offer you a good meal. Are you hungry?" Subaru asked, pocketing the letter. The man smiled.

"I'd like that."

Subaru smiled back. He liked this man, more than any other man he'd ever met. He seemed to glow with a kindness and warmth like no other human being. A sheep amidst the wolves, a lone flower in a bed of weeds.

"So, what shall I call you?" Subaru said, offering his hand.

"Seishirou… Sakurazuka Seishirou." The man said and hoisted Subaru's hand to his lips, giving it a small kiss and releasing it. Subaru blushed and felt his heart skip a beat. The thought of Seishirou's rosebud lips caressing his skin gave him a tingle of joy he'd never felt before. So warm and inviting, this feeling. Lost in it, Subaru forgot about the somewhat revealing outfit he was wearing. Blushing, he looked at Seishirou apologetically, but found his warm eyes brimming with forgiveness and love. Unfortunately for him, this only brought more warm feelings and now his pants were starting to tighten rather painfully. If only he'd worn looser boxers that day. They started talking and walking, and sooner than later Subaru forgot all about the letter. He was lost in Seishirou's seductive magic. 

"Hokuto! I'm home!" Subaru said, putting on his slippers and getting out a pair for Seishirou. Seishirou graciously accepted them and slipped them on. 

"She's not here. She's probably still out getting groceries." 

Subaru was a little confused by his comment. How did he know where she'd gone? "Probably."

"Hello!" Hokuto said as she entered and kicked off her shoes. She shoved some groceries into Seishirou's arms. "Subaru-chan, have you seen my earrings? I've been looking for them everywhere and can't find them, and I have a date with the *hottest* guy tonight, I MUST HAVE THEM!" She said, taking off her sunglasses and putting her slippers on. 

"They're in your top drawer under those silver handcuffs."

"Subaru-chan, I didn't know you went through my clothes. I mean, I know we wear the same size and all, but I didn't think you liked pantyhoes that much… or were you after my stash of sex toys, my naughty little bro." She said teasingly and took back the groceries. "Oh, I'm sorry… I thought you were Subaru." Seishirou bowed and took back the groceries.

"My name is Seishirou, I'm a friend of your brother's."

"Ohhhhh, a FRIEND, I get it." She said and winked. "So are you staying for dinner?"

"Yes."

"Ah… Well I think I'll go out tonight, you know, leave you two friends to chat or something." She said, leading him into the kitchen. "So what are you in the mood for? 

"I have no preferences, but I think he just wants something light."

"Ah, he's sorta eager, isnt' he?" She giggled, and whispered in Seishirou's ear, "Did you know he's a vi-"

"HOKUTO!!!" Subaru shouted, "Don't you have a date to get ready for?"

Hokuto smiled, "Yes brother dearest… I'll leave you two alone now, you know, ALL BY YOURSELVES IN THIS BIG HOUSE WITH A LARGE FUTON IN YOUR ROOM AND A NICE DINNER ON THE TABLE!" Seishirou chuckled and Subaru turned bright red. Hokuto skipped by the stereo system and put on some Barry White, hoping that her bro's hormones would take him to the next step, she put her shoes back on and left.

"Excuse her, she likes to mess around with me. Putting peanut butter in my shoes and using my wards for napkins, the usual sibling stuff, ne?" Subaru said nervously. His sister and himself were as far from normal as they could get, but hopefully his special guest wouldn't notice. Seishirou nodded and set the groceries on the counter. Subaru blushed, "How rude of me, I'm sorry she stuck you with those. Would you like to take a seat?" Seishirou sat down and waited as Subaru hustled around pouring a little wine in his glass and serving him.

"I'll be waiting for you."

Subaru sat down and looked up. "Pardon?"

"I've been waiting for you. I'll be waiting for you. I promise, it'll all be okay in the end. I won't let any harm come to you. I love you, my Subaru."

Subaru was shocked to say the least. He looked through his pockets and found the letter. Opening it, he saw it enclosed two plane tickets and a note. 

'Come to me.' 

"What the hell… Who's this fr-" Subaru said, looking up. The handsome man was gone, and the only sign that he'd ever been there was a single white glove and an uneaten dinner.

"WOW!!! AMERICA! You must've made some impression on that guy, didn't you?" Hokuto said, nudging her brother. "Although this sorta makes you his bitch, you know. Getting gifts, money, trips. WOW! My brother's a little prostitute!"

Subaru turned bright red. "I'm not going! I can't go chasing a strange man around the world. And we didn't DO anything!"

"Oh don't be so modest Subaru…" Hokuto said, faking a sniffle. "My baby bro, sleeping with men for gifts, you're all grown up now, ready to leave the nest and follow your… 'heart' to where ever it leads you."

Subaru cringed and looked in the mirror at his beet-red complexion. "Hokuto, you're so sick. I'm serious, we didn't do anything. We didn't have the chance to."

Hokuto blinked. "He was that fast?" 

Subaru shook his head, "We didn't do anything. He told me he'd been waiting for me, and then he just disappeared." 

"That's so romantic." Hokuto said giddily. "We have GOT to go now. Please Subaru? I really want to see New York, I hear it's as busy as Tokyo, and it's got just as many hot guys!"

"I don't know Hokuto, I mean, I've got a job here and…"

"And what? You're telling me that in the most corrupt city in the world there are no demons or monsters? You'll have more work than ever Subaru, please?" Hokuto begged. 

Subaru blushed. "Swear you won't mention another word about him, and I guess…"

"THANK YOU SUBARU-CHAN!" Hokuto said and pounced on him. "I PROMISE NOT TO MENTION YOUR BOYFRIEND OR THE FACT THAT YOU TWO DID THE DIRTY AGAIN!!! At least not until we get to New York." 

The tickets were for ten o'clock the next morning, and they arrived around midnight. 

"Well, we're in New York. Happy Hokuto?" Subaru asked. He felt so naked in this town, like everyone was staring at him, even though he knew they didn't give a damn. There was a man in a black trenchcoat that approached him. He wasn't as handsome as the first guy, actually he was rather ugly. 

"Are you Mr. Sumeragi?"

The man spoke English, which he unfortunately knew very little of, but he did know his name. The man pointed to a limo and a chauffeur came out and opened the door.

"WOW! You must've been gooooooood to deserve all this, either that or he wants to know where his lil' sex toy is goin'." Hokuto snickered.

Subaru blushed and shoved her into the car, which took them to a rather expensive hotel. They left the car and another man greeted them. He was blond and wore dark glasses, even though it was the middle of the night. Later he explained that he was their translator, and the city was brighter than the sun at night.

"So, who's the guy that's settin' us up with such a fancy place? Is he the hot guy that delivered the letter? And if so, does he have a straight brother?" Hokuto asked, pulling up a chair. The translator smiled and turned his attention to Subaru.

"The man you met was our adversary. My employer runs a business in the paranormal, just like yourself. We try to maintain the balance between good and evil, keeping average people unaware of the current rise of demonic activity, and keeping our rather unlucky clients away from such fiends. That… other man, Seishirou, ne? He is the epitome of evil."

"Him? Evil?" Subaru said, puzzled. Of course he had felt a strong spiritual presence from the other man, but he couldn't really say it was his unbiased opinion. The warmth that radiated from the man could've dulled his senses. His seductiveness was addictive. 

The man nodded. "So, we've been watching your development, as he has, and we'd hoped to acquire your services. That is, if you can handle it."

"If I can handle it?"

"Of course." He said, making a simple hand gesture. "You're playing with the big boys now. There is no room for mistakes. Can you summon your powers at will?"

"No problem." Subaru said and narrowed his eyes. Was this guy trying to challenge him to something? Suddenly another man opened the door.

"Damn straight!" The man shouted as he laughed. He was in his early forties, or so he appeared to be. He had long black hair, which he kept neatly combed back and a nice smile. He seemed to be a kind man, and Subaru was glad he was there. He seemed to be much less intimidating than the translator, and his Japanese was much better.

"You know the difference between the winners and the losers? The winners work for me. My name's Maxwell, Sumagaru Maxwell, but everyone calls me Max." He said, bowing to Subaru. "You must be my new employee, Sumeragi Subaru, aren't you…"

"Ano, I haven't decided on that yet! I mean, I have a home in Tokyo, and a job there. Also, we haven't even discussed money yet."

"Money…" the man said and laughed again. "Money… that's the easy part."

Subaru and Hokuto were soon swept away by the amount of money Max offered, and Subaru accepted the job. Although he really didn't like to be tied down to a single employer, the offer was simply irresistible. They were moved to a condo in the suburbs. It was gorgeous. 

"Isn't it dreamy? Subaru-chan this must be a dream! Well, we know it's not your dream… or this apartment would come with Seishirou-san." Hokuto said, blowing a kiss at her blushing bro. "And it's not mine, there are no men."

Subaru razzed her for her last comment and she hugged him tightly. 

"You've really got it made now Subaru-chan." She said. Then she took his wallet out. "But now I have to turn this little shack into a home, and you know what that costs." She said, nabbing his credit card. 

"Money…" He sighed and took his wallet back.

"Well that and dinner…" Hokuto said smiling. " An' brother I'm not cheap!"

After all his first paycheck had been spent in one night, he went home to a fully furnished and decorated apartment and promptly fell asleep.

He awoke the next morning to the smell of bread baking and his sister's singing. Then, he looked at the clock.

"OHCRAPI'MGONNABELATEFORMYFIRSTDAYATWORK!!!" He shouted as he hopped into the shower, forgetting that normally one takes their clothes off first. Breakfast was waiting for him. He got out of the shower quickly and gobbled up as much as he could before flying out the door. 

"He's never gonna get a man without some skin on those bones." Hokuto grumbled and cleared the table. "Well, at least *I* can find a guy." She commented and laughed before preparing for the hunt. "New York bachelors beware, Hokuto's here!!!" Hours passed, and finally Hokuto deemed herself ready to find her dream man. A man that's handsome, humorous, and just as perverted as she is. 

She went outside and tried to call a cab, but nobody came. She seemed to be having the worst luck today. First, her hairdryer blew a fuse. Then she ran out of hair spray, and now not one single cab would stop for her.

"Give me all your money bitch!"

She turned to look at the grimy man. He was holding a switchblade and pressing it against her back. She dropped her money purse slowly, and the man bent over and picked it up, then ran into the alley and disappeared. Startled, she ran back into their apartment and locked the door. 'It's not my day', she thought, 'I'll go out some other time.'

Meanwhile, Subaru had been keeping busy with a female demon, a mouse demon, a chinchilla demon, and the demon of the deceased snow leopard that wouldn't leave the wombat cage at the zoo. He'd never felt this into his work before, and the appreciation he was shown was so much more that he'd have ever imagined. True he was working from sun up to sun down and even after that, but for every case he handled he felt a little more important, the sweat he shed was worth the work. On the lighter side he did get invited to a party for work, but he was so busy, he'd have to hurry to be able to make it. He rushed home and started to pick out a nice outfit. Hokuto was sitting on the couch. He didn't even notice her until she wrapped her arms around him from behind.

"I was robbed today." She whispered. She kept her eyes lowered and frowned. "I don't like this place. Can we go home?"

Subaru was shocked. "Leave? But we just got here, and I'm doing so well."

"I don't like this place, or the people here. Nobody understands me, I'm stuck at home all day without anyone to talk to… I'm lonely." Hokuto said sadly.

Subaru was slightly angry now. "Look, it was your idea to come here anyways, you wanted a big city away from Tokyo, you got it. Quit complaining Hokuto, one bad day's no reason to condemn this entire experience. Just try again tomorrow." Subaru put on his recently purchased tux and straightened out his tie, then he saw the tears streaming down her face and stopped.

"Brother… please… I want to go home."

"Hokuto-chan…" Subaru said softly and hugged her tight. "C'mon, let's go to this party. That'll make you feel better, won't it? You love parties." He stroked her hair softly and patted her back. "Don't cry… men don't want a sad, weepy girl. It's okay…"

Hokuto sniffled and hugged back. Subaru always knew how to make everything seem so much better, and she did want to go out. "Okay." She said and gave him her best smile, "Just promise you won't leave me? Unless I find some really hot guy, then you'll scram, ne?" 

Subaru smiled. "Promise."

"After all, you've got a man, don't want him to think you're a slut do ya?"

Subaru blushed and pushed her into the bathroom. "Hokuto-chaaaan! I don't wanna hear another word about HIM!" It was another two hours before Hokuto would be ready.

"Come an' get me boys." She teased as she strutted out. Subaru whistled and she curtsied. They got there 'fashionably late' according to Hokuto and started mingling immediately. Subaru was surprised by the amount of mediums in the room, but he was definitely one of the more powerful. Hokuto stayed by his side and probed the room for the hottest guys. 

"Subaru, could I speak to you for a minute in private?" Max said, and kissed Hokuto's hand. "My dear, you look ravishing tonight, as always."

"If only you were about a decade or so younger Sumagaru-san." She replied and kissed his cheek.

"Well, you know, with age comes experience." Max replied. Hokuto smiled at his whitty remark.

"And how educated you must be." 

Max laughed with her at the slight against himself. "My dear, you are truly a gem." He said, putting his arm around Subaru and leading him to the elevator along with two of the more powerful men in the room. Before she knew it, Hokuto found herself alone, in a room full of strange faces speaking a strange language, and she was petrified. 

"So, what's wrong?" Subaru asked, taking a drink of his shirley temple. 

"A powerful demon's emerged, the most powerful we've ever faced, and I want Subaru on the case." All the men turned irritated, jealous glares towards Subaru, who looked just as shocked as they were.

"He's just a kid! He can't possibly handle this!" One of the men argued.

"He's just a kid that's never once failed to exorcise a demon! And out of all the mediums in the world, I'd pick him, second to none." Max retorted.

"Maybe they're right Max. I mean, they're more powerful than I am, and have had years more experience." Subaru said, blushing.

Max smirked. "You're the one I'd like heading this investigation. Pressure, my boy. Pressure changes everything. Some people, you squeeze 'em, and they focus. Others crumble. This is the test."

"Are we negotiating?" 

"Always."

Subaru returned home with a feeling of accomplishment. Max had chosen him. Maybe, someday he could even take over the company. It seemed that he was now Max's prodigy. 

"You left me… You promised you wouldn't leave me, but you left." 

Hokuto was sitting in the corner, curled up in a little ball. Little rivulets of mascara flowed down her cheeks and splattered on the crushed velvet of her dress. 

"I just got a big job Hokuto, isn't that wonderful? I mean, in a few years I might even be able to take over the company. Don't be so upset, I'm doing this for us." Subaru said, kneeling down to her.

"NO!" Hokuto shouted angrily. "You're doing this for YOU! Don't you see? Subaru-chan, don't you see what these people are doing? They're the demons, and they're changing you, you're not yourself Subaru!!!"

"That's enough! Hokuto-chan, I am doing this for us! I want to be able to give you anything, everything you want, and I think if I do this job well, I can." Subaru said and hugged her. "Why do you want to hinder us like this? We're doing so well here, doing so much good, why do you want to hold me back?"

"I want to go back to Tokyo."

Subaru frowned. "We're not going back there, not yet." Hokuto started crying again, and he became infuriated. "Look, after this project I'll ask Max for a transfer, but until then you'll just have to deal with it, okay!?" Hokuto didn't answer, but continued to sob. "I'm going to bed, I've got a hell of a long week ahead of me and I don't need this."

"May God have mercy on your soul, Subaru-chan." 

Subaru ignored her and went to bed. The next morning, his alarm woke him early and he had a few extra minutes to actually enjoy his breakfast. Hokuto served him quietly and he watched her with silent frustration. What did she want from him? Was he not supporting them? Was he not offering her everything? All she had to do was take care of the house and he'd give her everything. Sisters…

"I'm going to be home late tonight, I've got a lot of research to do." Subaru said, putting his dishes away. Hokuto looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Please don't go, stay with me, please?" she begged. Subaru frowned and kissed her forehead.

"You know I have to go to work, how else could I afford to keep you in such splendor? Hm?"

"I don't care about this damn place! I hate this house, I hate it here, I want to go home to Tokyo!!!" Hokuto screamed. 

Subaru frowned. "This is home, you understand me, THIS is HOME!" He slammed the door as he left. 'What's wrong with her,' he thought. He entered the office and made an appointment with Max. 

"Is it an emergency?" the secretary asked.

Subaru sighed. "Sort of, yes." At that moment, Max opened the door. He seemed to be in a cheerful mood, and seeing Subaru made his smile shine. 

"My boy, how's the case going? I know it's a tough one, but don't get discouraged, I have faith in you." Max said and jokingly punched Subaru in the shoulder, making him smile.

"Max," he said, as his smile faded. "Do you have any office openings in Tokyo?"

"Tokyo? Why would you want to go back there? I thought you liked New York…" 

"I love New York!" Subaru replied, "But Hokuto isn't adjusting very well to it. She misses Tokyo too much. I think it's best to go back, for her sake."

"Of course… of course… family comes first." Max consoled him. "Here's what I'm going to do for you, you finish up this case, and I'll check on an opening. If there isn't one in Tokyo, I'll make one. Deal?" Subaru smiled and nodded.

"Thanks a lot Max, I really appreciate it." Subaru said and shook Max's hand.

"No problem." Max said, and with that, headed back into his office. Subaru smiled. Once again he'd done the right thing for his family, the right thing to do. Hokuto'd be so happy. He continued his work, and managed to find out the nature of the spirit and it's haunt. Her name was Princess. Literally, that was her given name, however the day before her death she'd changed her name to Pride. Not the greatest name, but still an improvement. There was a strange twist to this story though. She wasn't in need of anything. She was very successful, her parents were loaded, and she was so pretty, she could've had any man she wanted. Why would a person with such a perfect life, not name but life, commit suicide? And in such a gruesome way…

By the end of the day, he'd forgotten all about the meeting with Max and the discussion of relocation, so the topic was never mentioned to Hokuto, who was becoming more of a recluse than ever. She never talked to anyone, not that they'd understand her, and Subaru just didn't have the time to spare. He didn't even notice her depression until days later, the day before the exorcism was to take place.

"Pass the jam, please." Subaru said, buttering his toast. Hokuto nodded and unsealed the lid. Subaru took the grape jellified fruit and spread it over the baked bread. Taking a large bite, he tasted something weird. Most jellies were sweet, but this one tasted tart, bitter, even salty. He looked at Hokuto then back at the jelly. "What's wrong with this stuff?" She didn't answer, just looked down. "Hokuto, tell me, what's in the jelly?"

"…………"

Subaru took her hand and asked in a firmer, more desperate voice. "What's wrong with this jelly!?" Blood oozed down from her arm and covered his hand. He stared in terror, then rolled up her sleeve. There were bloody gashes running up and down her arms. He tore off her robe.

"My… God… Hokuto…" He mumbled and stared at her naked body. No human being could've done this to themselves, could they? Her entire person was red with it's own life essence, also she looked like she hadn't eaten in days. How could he not have noticed the trail she'd left all through the kitchen? How could he not have known that she'd stopped taking her meals? She pulled on her robes quietly and curled up. Subaru was the one crying now. He cradled her body and rocked her back and forth.

"Don't worry…" he cooed to her through his sobs, "I'll get you help, I swear, I'll get you help…" She still didn't respond.

Within hours she was rushed to the hospital, treated for her wounds and then taken to the psychiatric ward where she was declared delusional and put under the best of care.

"No, no don't put me in here, Subaru!!! Subaru, take me home, please, take me home!!! Please, back to Tokyo, please!!! The demons, Subaru, can't you see the demons around you!? PLEAAAASE!!!" She screamed as the doctor injected 'something to help her sleep'. "PLEASE SUBARU!!!! SUBARUUUUUU!!! Look around you!!! Look…" Hokuto whimpered and took Subaru's hand. Subaru gave her a pained look and kissed her forehead. 

"Hokuto, I'll be here when you wake up… We'll go back to Tokyo tomorrow, I promise, we'll go home tomorrow." Subaru whispered and Hokuto smiled. 

"I love you."

She was asleep now, and Subaru'd gone back home to pack their things. It'd cost a fortune to move everything, so he'd have to get rid of a lot of the things, but that didn't matter. Family, that was most important, family always comes first. He tried to stay brave, for Hokuto, but couldn't help breaking down into tears every now and then.It took him hours and hours to finish, and by that time, visiting hours were over. Hopefully Hokuto would forgive him for not being there when she woke up, but he'd take her home the next morning. Back to Tokyo.

Hokuto woke up to an empty room. Her arms were strapped to the bed and struggle as she might, there was no way to get loose.

"Awake now are we dear?" a nurse said. She was quite beautiful with pale skin, and flowing, flaming red hair that ran halfway down her back. "Are you feeling up to dinner? Hokuto nodded and the nurse started to unstrap her. 

"You… speak Japanese…" Hokuto whispered. It had been about a week since she'd spoken to anyone.

"Very well." She replied and took out a mirror. "Would you like me to brush your hair for you? Make you look nice for your brother?"

"Subaru… he was supposed to be here when I woke up…" Hokuto mumbled softly as tears flowed.

"It's not his fault dear, visiting hours are over." The nurse said, as she started to brush Hokuto's hair carefully. Hokuto just sat and enjoyed the small pleasure. Pampering had always been her weak point, she couldn't resist…

"You're never going back, you know…" The nurse whispered in her ear. Hokuto gasped, and looked in the mirror. In it, a partially decomposed face stared back, it's stark naked body with maggots crawling over all over it, and it's gnarled, bony fingers raking through her hair. She screamed, took the mirror and broke it to pieces.

"GET OUT!!! GET OUT GET OUT!!!!" She screamed and shoved the nurse out the door, then barricaded it with a chair. 

"YOU'RE ONE OF US!!! JOIN US!!! JOIN US!!!" The nurse screamed.

"No… No… NOOOOOO!!!!!" Hokuto screamed and looked at the broken shards. She saw, she saw the demon looking back, the same hideous corpse. That reflection wasn't the nurse. It was her. 

Tears streamed down her face, and she picked up the largest shard. "I love you." She whispered, and started to cut.

"Hello, I'm Subaru, Hokuto's brother. Is she awake? Tell her I'm here to take her home." Subaru said, and shivered. He'd been cold all night long, and the hospital wasn't any warmer.

"Ah… Sumeragi-san. I'm dreadfully sorry to be the one to tell you this, but during the night your sister attacked one of our nurses and ended her own life." 

The nurse continued to drone on, but nothing got through, Subaru was in shock. It wasn't until someone put their arm around him and gave him a hug that he started to come back to reality. Then, he cried. He cried and cried, until he felt the tears run dry. It was the nurse, the kind red-headed nurse that gave her the shot to calm her down.

"Excuse me sir… I hate to interrupt you in your moment of grief, but the coroner sent me. You need to identify the body, sir."

Subaru wiped his tears and nodded as she led him into the morgue. 

"Is this your sister?"

The nurse pulled out one of the bodies and opened the bag. There on the table was Hokuto. Nude, embalmed, and stitched up like a rag doll. Subaru gasped and sank to his knees. The carvings in her chest roughly spelled a word…

'Pride'

"Pride." Subaru whispered and curled up. The nurse nodded and put the body away. Then everything went black.

Subaru woke up on a soft couch, clad in an animal skin, and nothing else.

"Awake?" Max asked and handed him a cup of sake, "This'll take the pain away."

"Max… where… how…" Subaru took the cup and tried to get his mind to focus. "How'd you know my sister was going to die? HOW!?" He screamed. "WHO ARE YOU!?"

Max smiled and paced the room. "Oh I have so many names…"

Subaru blinked and suddenly everything became clear to him. "Satan?"

"Call me dad."

Subaru sat, completely dumbfounded at the moment, so Max continued. "Why… why do you think you've never failed?… Because you're so fuckin' good? Yeah. But why?"

"…… Because you're my father."

Max grinned. "That's right."

"Then why'd she have to die?… WHY'D YOU KILL HOKUTO!!!"

"Ohhhh… I hope you're kidding. I really do." Max said. "You could've saved her anytime you wanted! All she needed was a little love and attention, but you got too wrapped up in your work to even notice she existed."

"That's not true, that's not true, I did it for us!"

"NO! You did it for yourself, and now you weep for the loss of your sister… Who's to blame? Hm?"

Subaru bowed his head in shame. "Me… I'm to blame… I killed her… I killed her…" he cried. 

"Aw son… don't be so hard on yourself." Max said and put his arm around Subaru. "Son… I have a proposition for you."

"Proposition?"

Max nodded. "Well, ya see son, I can't reign here forever. Gotta give the whole hooves and horns thing a rest and start out fresh. New millennium's here my boy, and it's time to hand over the throne."

"So what do you want from me?"

Max smirked. "Well that's simple… I'm willing to make you an offer you can't refuse."

"Such as?" Subaru replied coldly.

"Your sister's life." Max said, and Subaru's eyes widened. "That's right. I'll bring your sister back to life if you'll do me one thing."

"What do you want?"

"Your seed." Max said, and Subaru gave him a puzzled look. "You have in you the seed to spawn a child of pure evil, my son, a child who'll take this world into the future. 'Cause my boy, it's our time now."

"What about God?"

"What about him? Hm? You think he gives a damn about anyone? Hm? I've been here from the beginning son, and you know what this is to him? IT'S A BIG COSMIC JOKE!!! Watching you humans teeter totter through your miserable lives to the inevitable, and then when you can't even walk to the crapper and you're pissin' in a pot he throws the punch line and watches the lawyers scramble for the scraps! HE'S A SADIST!!!" Max shouted. 

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!" a voice boomed and the earth shook. The lights flickered on and off and the winds howled like wolves. "LET HIM HEAR *MY* OFFER!!!"

A white light shown through the window and there stood Seishirou. He opened his arms and embraced Subaru tightly. 

"My Subaru, my love, I have an offer for you. Will you listen?" Seishirou asked and kissed Subaru softly. Subaru nodded. "Take the dagger from my belt, and take your life. I'll take your's and your sister's soul into heaven with me, and we'll live out eternity in peace."

"You want me to kill myself?"

Seishirou sighed. "Look koi, it's either that or screwing your sister so your child can take over hell." Subaru thought carefully and drew the dagger.

"Wait son, wait… Think about this for a second. We could be partners! C'mon, it'll be a blast!"

Seishirou looked at Subaru and smiled. "Free will."

"Free will." Subaru repeated and stabbed himself. Seishirou kissed him and held his body until his soul was released.

"YEEEEEAHHHH!!! WOO-HOO!!! GO SUBARU-CHAN!!! YOU FINALLY GOT YOURSELF A MAN!!!" Hokuto's spirit shouted.

Seishirou smiled. "God."

"Whatever."

Subaru smiled back and hugged Hokuto as their spirits rose to heaven, leaving the earth and all else behind for that Eden in the sky.

About three centuries later…

"Seishirou-chan, do you think I look fat?" Hokuto complained.

"Of course not, you're as stunning as ever." He responded, licking Subaru's nipple clean of the chocolately syrup, and heading towards the whipped cream around his naval. 

Subaru blushed. "I wish I would've listened to that band, you know, the one that sings, 'better to reign with the sinners than serve with the saints'… You're insatiable."

Seishirou smiled and bit his smooth stomach lightly. "Just for that we're using sprinkles next time."

Besides a mysterious shortage of chocolate, the world was at peace through these happy years, and the hentai, the God, and the sex slave lived happily ever after.


End file.
